I think I am hitting rock-bottom. After three dreadful, horrible lonesome years, I'm still the only person sipping on Bailey's in my room. The difference, I'm more exhausted than I've ever been, I am lacking in faith, and my closest friends don't really seem to pay much attention anymore (we all grow anyways, and this was bound to happen).
But what's interesting is, I am growing tremendously career wise. People want to hear what I have to say, and my plans are usually turned into action. I admire those who speak their mind, and have learned to head into the "nothing" box once in a while.
My life now consists of my job. My new found passion. My new found platform of expression. I spend an average of 10-12 hours working a day in a week that my colleagues have now become my new family. I spend more time with my colleagues than I do with my parents who by the way, I miss most. I am blessed, blessed that I have the opportunity to make up for all those wasted years of hitting the glass bottles with tiny little crystal objects that turn into hours, and hours of devilish bliss. Most of the time, I don't miss those blissful times, but, being only human, I crave for it during the most hurtful times of my life.
I do miss many parts of my life, my family (I think I've said that already), my friends, my bed, my couch, my books, MY TIME. Maybe all these sacrifices that I am making will somehow provide me with joy, perhaps, in the long run. It certainly isn't at this present moment.
So here's to my job, the most abso-fuckin'-lutely biggest part of my life now. May it bring me the satisfaction I long for.